Notes on the Atrocities Like a 100-watt radio station, broadcasting to the dozens...
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
The Goldies 2002
On the lighter side, I intended to post the third annual Goldies (you may know them under a different name)--my alternative to the dreck generally cited by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences as the best of the year. (It'll be back to the atrocities later in the day--never fear!)
Grand Goldie (Best Film)
Gangs of New York (Martin Scorsese)
"My father gave his life making this country what it is. Murdered by the British with all of his men on the twenty fifth of July, Anno Domini, 1814. Do you think I'm going to help you befoul his legacy by giving this country over to them, what's had no hand in the fighting for it?"
--Bill the Butcher, Gangs of New York
Petit Goldie (the rest of the nominees)
Monsoon Wedding (Mira Nair)
LotR: Two Towers (Peter Jackson)
13 Conversations about One Thing (Jill Sprecher)
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (George Clooney)
Big Stinky (Worst film of the year)
Reign of Fire (Rob Bowman)
Much Ado About Nothing Minority Report (Steven Spielberg)
Road to Perdition (Sam Mendes)
Signs (M. Night Shyamalan)
The Good Girl (Mike White)
Chicago (Rob Marshall)
No Ado About Something Undercover Brother (Malcolm D. Lee)
Last Orders (Fred Schepisi)
24-Hour Party People (Michael Winterbottom)
Heaven (Tom Twyker)
Roger Dodger (Dylan Kidd)
Best Actor Daniel Day-Lewis, Gangs of New York
Best Actress Nicole Kidman, The Hours
Best Supporting Actor Alan Arkin, 13 Conversations About One Thing
Best Supporting Actress Kathy Bates, About Schmidt
Best Director Martin Scorsese, Gangs of New York
Best Screenplay Charlie Kaufman, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Worst Quote of the Year "I don't like the sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating--not like you. You're soft and smooth."
--Anakin Skywalker, Attack of the Clones
Best Quote of the Year Anton Jackson: So the conspiracies we've believed for all these years are true? The NBA really did institute the three point shot to give white boys a chance?
Conspiracy Brother: Of course!
Anton Jackson: Hollywood really is out to get Spike Lee?
Conspiracy Brother: Come on man! Even Cher's won an Oscar! Cher!
Anton Jackson: Then O.J. really didn't do it?
[Everyone looks away and mumbles]
Rent ‘em if you ain't seen ‘em 24-Hour Party People
Bowling for Columbine
Dogtown and Z Boys