Notes on the Atrocities
Like a 100-watt radio station, broadcasting to the dozens...

Friday, April 04, 2003  

Protesting Advice

The vast majority of you have not had the pleasure of encountering the Portland Mercury. Allow me to introduce you. In this week's edition, Wm. Steven Humphrey offers some advice to protesters. Selections:

"You're doing it all wrong. There's a reason why your daily protests have failed to invigorate the anti-war movement. You have no leadership. You have no direction.

"It's time to come up with a plan and stop this senseless and annoying lollygagging about town. Everyone's getting bored with it, and you're losing support. Say what you want about the U.S. war machine, they'll never be accused of lollygagging. That's why if you want to stop the enemy, you need to think like the enemy.

"The U.S. military is successful because they have a clear objective and spend time thinking of ways to obtain that objective. And just like the thousands of troops in Iraq, peace protesters have enough hippie power to create a "shock and awe" campaign in Portland that will captivate the nation--and all it takes is a little military-style planning.


"Take a tip from the Marines and break this huge group into smaller units. (For fun you can give each unit a macho shithead name like the 101st Airborne Screaming Eagles.) It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that large groups equal restricted movement. Posting smaller units at different locations within the city forces the cops (who we shall also refer to as "the defenders") to disperse their troops, and weaken their position. This is called "isolation."

Do yourself a favor and go read the whole article. Very funny stuff.

posted by Jeff | 11:32 AM |
Blogroll and Links